So many times have I felt a big knot in my throat, a holding back, when it has come time to leave, to say goodbye, to put an end to something, someone or a moment. It saddens me, it hurts to let go…
A loving being that will never be physically seen again. A change in relationship, place or career that no longer is in alignment. A show that ends…
Curtains close.
That empty feeling.
Nostalgia hits.
I’ve come to realize that even if fully savoured, I hold on. Attached I am, grasping at what was. I recognize the beauty in my intense love for life but such attachment is a resistance to the natural flow.
I like to describe myself as a “Guardian of Aliveness”, one who reminds of the preciousness of life, of our existence, of this very moment. I’ve had a natural inclination to honour the living more than the dying, as if both were separate or one prefered over the other.
A clear invitation to welcome the teachings of death has been knocking at my door as I have been marked by so many endings lately.
~ Ending my career in the restaurant industry, after 10 years of serving in such a way.
~ The closing of two feminine, holistic spaces where I felt so at home.
~ Old, behavioural patterns slowly dying.
~ Deep recognition that my time here, in Montreal, is counted.
~ Relationships naturally shifting or moving on.
~ The deeply saddening passing of a dear cousin, that I loved so very much 🕊
There are endings that are planned out for, felt in advance and some that are surprising in nature. Endings exist on a daily basis as every moment dies. Every day comes to an end as the sunset symbolizes so well. And some, more deeply moving goodbyes, ask for a proper grief through rituals, often times, a necessary supportive and healing process.
Death/endings is teaching and reminding me that there is no need to resist or hold a tight grip onto these natural currents. To embrace what was, take the necessary time to grieve, deeply feel, ritualize and come to accept the passing of time, of change…what life is truly all about.
Like waves,
a continuous flow of
coming ~ staying ~ going
The Wild Feminine Way reminds us to welcome all Acts of Passage as natural invitations of our existence. To resist and grasp adds more suffering. To welcome and embrace (by asking for the necessary support to navigate the ebbs and flows), leads to softening 🌀
I am here to feel and lean into the full spectrum of life, are you?